Have an Extroverted Boss? 5 Tips for Managing Your Relationship
Here’s How to Connect, be Heard, and Build a Strong Partnership
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👋 Hey, Rich here! Welcome to this week’s edition of Introvert’s Edge Newsletter. Each week I dive into a new business situation and offer advice, tactics, and tools to help introverted leaders, like myself, thrive and accelerate their careers. Join me in creating community around the unique strengths of introverted business leaders.
🤔 What challenges are you facing at work? What’s causing stress? What management situation would you like to receive advice on?
✍️ Shoot me a note at introvertsedge@substack.com (always confidential👍)
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Introvert Leader Meets Extrovert Boss
Your boss calls for a quick team meeting. You enter the room, join them at the white-board, and everyone starts talking. Sometimes over each other, sometimes in quick succession. (Where’s that little orange ✋ hand when you need it?) The board begins to fill up as the brainstorm continues. Your mind is racing, you have thoughts, ideas, but you want time to think. You feel like your face is out the car window at 50mph. You’re expected to jump in, get fired-up, share the energy of the brainstorm, but instead you feel rushed, unprepared, and talked-over.
Meanwhile, your boss is feeding on the energy. She loves “thinking out-loud” and believes this is how teams do their best work.
So how can you connect, be heard, and be a strong partner to an extroverted boss?
First, Create an Environment that Will Let Your Superpowers Shine
As an introverted leader, it is important to communicate how you prefer to work as early as possible in your relationship with your boss. You want to bring your best to every meeting, so there is nothing wrong with sharing your preferred method of preparation and participation. You should also ask your boss how they prefer to interact so you can optimize for mutual effectiveness.
Strategies to help you connect, be heard, and build a strong partnership:
Explain Who You Are. While all people have a combination of introversion and extroversion, maybe you tend to be more introverted. This means that you:
Think deeply and need to reflect on complex issues, leading to well-considered and thoughtful decision-making.
Absorb information thoroughly but often need more time to process.
Focus intensely on individual tasks, which is essential when working on complex and critical projects.
Are an independent thinker, not easily swayed by external influences, which is important for major strategic business decisions.
Understand and empathize with others, which is beneficial when working with a diverse group of people.
Adapt quickly to changing circumstances and are comfortable working in a variety of different environments.
Are resilient, able to handle stress and pressure well.
Ask for, and Use, Agendas. Always. One of the simplest management tools I’ve seen taken to a new level at my current organization is the agenda. Our CEO is a highly structured leader and she insists on clear, detailed, written agendas for every meeting. At first I thought this was fine for some meetings, but not all, but I’ve come to be a true-believer in the discipline.
What about quick huddles or "drive-by" meetings, like the situation described above? Even if your boss enjoys ad-hoc brainstorming, there's nothing wrong with asking for a quick heads-up. You can say, "Hey, before you call me in (or stop by) next time, could you shoot me a note just a few minutes in advance and let me know what the topic is? This will help me give you my best." I've found that even a minute or two to jot down a few bullet points in advance helps me remember and deliver the points I really want to make.
I love brainstorming! …With advance notice, an agenda, and a clearly defined problem to solve 😊.
Choose the type of meeting strategically
When to ask for in-person? Best for building, maintaining, renewing personal relationships, fostering collaboration and teamwork, allowing for nonverbal communication, and of course, when you need to use a whiteboard. Virtual whiteboards like Miro are great, but nothing beats the real thing - yet.
Virtual - best for when you need quick access to multiple screens/windows of information for the conversation. I find it’s also best for presentations - kind of nice to have your own private teleprompter!
Hybrid - only when absolutely necessary due to large or remote teams. When you do have to go hybrid, follow your boss. If they’re in-person, be in-person.
Choose communication type deliberately
Ask them how they prefer to receive information, get updates, and stay aligned. There is a wide range these days, so best to ask. In-person, quick video call, email, instant message, Slack, Teams chat, or maybe they prefer good old fashioned phone calls. I guarantee they will have a strong opinion and be glad to share it with you.
Believe it or not, your boss wants to help you succeed in your career
As an introverted executive, you may have goals or aspirations for your career. Sharing these with your boss and seeking out opportunities for growth can help you develop and advance in your role. It took me way too long in my career to actually tell a boss what my goals and objectives were.
I was working for a private equity company, managing real estate but I really wanted the opportunity to become a C-level executive in one of the portfolio operating companies. I had been feeling a bit stagnant in my role, and was contemplating a move, but I figured why not first look for opportunity within the organization first.
I revved up the courage to ask my boss for a lunch to talk about my career path. The request was really well received, and the lunch went better than I could have hoped. Bottom line - I told him my goal was to be a C-level leader within 3 years. I explained how I could earn this through successful completion of critical projects, and role change or two along the way. His reaction? “Great, let’s get you some projects that can point your trajectory in that direction.”
3 years, and a lot of work later, I was there. It would not have happened unless I had communicated my career goals clearly, and outlined a suggested path to get there. Ask for the meeting, take the chance, and I guarantee, good things will follow.
Why a Strong Relationship with Your Boss Matters
You were hired for a reason. Take a look back at your resume if you need a reminder or a confidence boost. You’ve accomplished a lot! You have an impressive record, and you bring all of that skill and experience to bear every day. Deploying all of that effectively often comes down to communication and leadership style. Explaining how you work best and understanding how your boss works best is critical to your mutual success. Be deliberate - agree how you’ll communicate, organize, and execute your work together, and confirm it in writing. You’ll have a better working relationship, you’ll feel better every day, and you’ll both be more effective leaders for your Teams.
👋 Closing note from Rich… I hope this week’s edition of Introvert’s Edge Newsletter was helpful and you were able to grab an idea or two. If you’re enjoying these newsletters, please share on your favorite social media channel! Questions, comments, feedback? Drop me a note at introvertsedge@substack.com.